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I pore over these articles, never quite trusting their advice, but still discussing them with my girlfriends ad infinitum. But is sex really about love, about connecting with your partner in some mysterious, profound way? I think the 20th century made the whole story upand we bought it because it suited us.

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Do they not fancy me? Do they secretly hate me? Am I being too pushy?

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When it comes to men and sexwomen may be missing a big part of the story. From the role of porn and the strength of libido, to the importance of physical attractiveness and the desire to chase, popular culture paints a picture that doesn't always match the reality of what happens behind closed bedroom doors. The project was based on interviews with and survey responses from more than heterosexual men about their sexual desire.

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But how often do we actually hear the nitty-gritty details of how we might actually achieve those things? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex psychotherapist based in San Francisco, to help us out with the specifics. Q: Do you have advice for what to do when you and your partner are on different pages about how much sex you should be having? My boyfriend would be happy with sex practically every day, but my sex drive is way lower maybe times a month would be fine.

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Here's how to inoculate ourselves against negative ones. Verified by Psychology Today. Divorce Busting.

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This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. How do I lessen the impact this has on my relationship and my self-esteem? I feel you, girl.

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Telling your partner about your past sex life can be both exhilarating and excruciating. Each couple navigates this potential emotional minefield differently, so we asked two for the pros and cons of how they handled their sexual-history sharing. First up, Caroline K.

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Romance novels, porn, role play, lingerie. Work, childcare, and reduced sleep are just a few things that can step on the brake, she says. Here are some techniques couples can use to get their accelerator going, according to Nagoski. Couples who stay in long-term, happy relationships usually prioritize sex and even put it on their calendarssays Nagoski.

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It's no secret that after the honeymoon phase of a relationship slows down, the sex also slows down. When that happens, it can be really confusing or scary because you may not know why your partner seems uninterested in sex, or worse, what it means for the future of the relationship. Is it a temporary blip?

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It is perfectly okay to keep some things private, especially fantasies that you enjoy on your own and do not care to share with someone else. But in any relationship, whether for one night or many years, there are things about which you do need to communicate. Talking about sex openly makes for relationships that are more fun and satisfying.

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